Day -5475: Two People

For them really, won’t mean much to anyone else.

Hey Bud, go listen to “Inevitable” by Anberlin. Don’t feel weird, the chorus isn’t for you. I don’t look back very often, because too often I don’t like what I see. A shame really, because there were some really cool things way back then. Remember Those Nights? I think it’s a silly question but needless transitions are needed to move the conversation along right? Of course they are. The second half of my life plays through my head a lot whenever my mind feels like it wants a vacation. Late nights with applesauce but no spoons and gongs that amazingly foreshadowed futures of keys, guys, torches, and those blasted black masks. But of course I started with a song.

See I don’t really have much from long ago. My friends were my siblings because we moved around a bit during those formative social years. I had the school friends, but they were the equivalent of modern facebook friends; they just required more attention like a tamogachi. I was wondering, what would we have seen, done, been, had we met long ago? Before fatal illness, before despair, before understanding? Back when we thought the impossible was just hiding from us waiting to be found.

And that’s not to say we would have been together the whole time, even now our relationship has seen mild distance and remained. Who’s to say that we couldn’t have met for a summer then not seen one another for a decade? I bet that would create an interesting bond with difficult yet exiting challenges to conquer.

But then, I guess I did meet you then; in a way. After all, You’re always you, you can’t really be anything else. At your worst you are you, trying to be someone else; but you still shine through. Especially you. For example:

Ahh the memories. 🙂

And even though you are different from the you that was you back then you still carry a part of the you that was you back then in the you that is you now. You get? So I still get to see a part of that, while not having to miss out on what’s there now.

There wasn’t really a point I don’t think. I just wanted to talk to you. But I guess in this circumstance it’s more like talking at you. Warui. It’s amazing to me, what glue held us together this long? What amazing paste did we concoct in that basement together? Maybe it was our personality. I know I have a tendency to latch on to people in a weird way; particularly if I don’t have many people I’m already attached to. And I know you also have a bit of a loyal vein in you. Loyal or Royal? both I guess. We stitched ourselves into a weird quilt, harmonized into a melodic symphony, wrote into a dynamic tale, programmed a complex matrix, that has yet to be completed and has fruit yet to bear. Do you remember that time in the living room? It may have been the time we thought the TV was looking at us with evil green eyes of the coffee machine kinda like Z another night; or maybe it wasn’t. But I do know on that night I told you a story. A story from my heart that I later tried to pen so that others could also hear the tale. I never got it as good as that night though. Probably because others don’t have the access to my heart you do.

There is a lot we don’t have in common. But I think that is because we aren’t the same person. And because there are so many things in existence, and we only get to see so many of them, there is a possibility we will see more dissonance than harmony a twixt us. But at the same time there is an interesting play between the clashing melodies that cause us to spin and rage like two cosmos both attracted and repelled by the contents of the other.

String 2

One for God, One for a Man, the last…

Btw changing conversation partners now. Love you Bud, talk to you soon!

You should listen to the song I told Andrew about before. Did you notice he started doing a blog?

http://youcancallmedrew.wordpress.com/

It’s weird to me cuz when we first met he didn’t really like being called Drew. I know where this is going, let’s see if I can get there. Did you ever play those maze games when you were a kid? waiting to get whatever meal you had ordered and so you mindlessly doodled your way to the result. Well actually I was probably the only one who did that; and I didn’t do it too mindlessly either. I would always try to better myself finding the right solution without looking too far ahead and trying to not hit walls. Nobody seemed to care how well I did though; why should you? They were small accomplishments made by a small person. But I’m still proud of those mazes I can’t really remember now. Reminds me of the coloring books my Nanna would have for me when I visited. Wasn’t too good at coloring something beautiful, but she never seemed to care. I want you to know my Nanna. Big request I know but I can’t really drag my feet on it. My Nanna is a special person to me; I’m closer to her than most of my family. And as I get older, I notice how fewer and fewer people tell me they talked to their grandparents this year. And how more and more friends tell me it’s because they are unable to. My Nanna and Pappa aren’t old yet, despite what my younger sister might think. After all they still like hanging out with their grandson, so that puts them at 40; tops. I’m more worried about those things that we don’t see coming. The Kaishi: Mysterious death. I mean our tomorrows aren’t promised right? So I want you to know the woman in whom I found safety, and the purest form of love I knew for a very long time. (comparably to my life that is)

Why would I look forward to those time when I’m going to mess up? And not just “o I left the oven on, Chinese instead?” I’m thinking more the big ones where it’s a big challenge to sleep in the same house. And I think it might be, because I know it’s gonna happen. I’m a bit of a fool; as such, God has such an ample canvas to work on. I’d like to say that I’ll be perfect and do all the right things and we’ll compromise and life will never be filled with strife. But life can be controlled by no mortal much less me. And I’m no fairytale about to come true (wait until eternity rolls around)

But despite that, I’m still going to fight. For God, and for you, and for me. Because were all worth it to me. And I have everything I need to fight. I know a really good blacksmith ^^ He decks me out every ding with these rare recipes that even the devs don’t know about. Probably because he makes them himself, but I’m getting distracted. Point being, Failure; OK; Persistence. Yeah I’m annoying at times sorry. But I have some pretty awesome merits to harmonize with the annoying bits.

And like I said before, no matter when I see you, I’ll get to see everything. Your personality I mean. Sometimes we might think it isn’t much to show off, but I promise I’m talk talk your ear off telling you how awesome I am. Well, more how God has been awesome through me, but I’m in there somewhere ^^

I don’t know you yet.

Made it. GOAL! 🙂 But really I don’t yet. Because even if you are someone I know now, you’re not the person I will know when your the person I’m talking to. I guess it’s like a letter to the future from the past. But that’s ok; You’re a future worth waiting for. A very reliable blacksmith told me so. 😉

A three full chord is not easily broken. I’m grateful for every bond I have; even the ones I don’t really get. But I only have three heart strings; which Max is very good at plucking by the way. Now since there is only one left, that might make it sound like I’m offering up some fantastic treasure that you could pay millions for and it still wouldn’t be enough; but that isn’t really the case. There isn’t much here, just a seed growing and spreading its roots. There are lots of others who are like me and even who offer something similar. So no this isn’t some unseen gem found in a Colombian mineshaft. It’s a small quartz rock that was shaped vaguely by the years of wear and tear of travel and tears to resemble a heart. Worthless to anyone except one who gives it value. There’s two who think it’s pretty cool already excluding me. Can’t wait to me you. Yes the you that you are now but also that you that you will be when I meet you. Gosh that all sounds foolish; which is fitting I guess coming from a fool.